Divorce during Holidays

Posted by Josh Valentine | Feb 10, 2020

Divorce is not an easy process and you should not have to go through it alone. If you have any questions about child custodyproperty division, or alimony after a divorce, talk to your North Carolina family law attorneys for help. 

Making One Reconsider a Divorce

Most separations and divorces involve a lot of second-guessing, putting off asking for a divorce, or changing feelings about the future of the relationship. These changes in the way you feel can also be seasonal when holidays like Christmas make people think of better times and the family coming together. 

North Carolina's one-year separation requirement for divorce does not allow anyone to rush into divorce. Over the period of a full year of living apart, each spouse can get a good idea of what life will be like after a divorce becomes final. Living separately and apart requires living in a different residence. Even if romantic feelings do come up during the separation, “isolated incidents of sexual intercourse between the parties shall not toll the statutory period required for divorce predicated on separation of one year.” 

However, some people have the opposite reaction after the holiday. Like New Year's Eve or a spouse's birthday, a partner may be expecting their other half to pull out all the stops and go above and beyond with a big hearted gesture. If the other person fails to meet these expectations, the spouse may feel like this is another sign that there is a problem with the relationship. 

Getting Through Holidays After a Divorce

Being single again after a divorce can make you feel alone, especially around holidays. After seeing stores and co-workers' desks filled with heart-shaped balloons, flowers, cards, and boxes of chocolates, everything seems focused on couples. 

For many people, the best option is to keep busy. This could include going to the gym, taking a night class, or even catching up on work. For others, it can be an opportunity to pamper themselves, like going for a spa day, buying themselves flowers, or splurge on a gift. 

Thinking of others can also help take the sting out of being single. Parents can even start a new family tradition of spending special time with their kids. Volunteering at a church event or animal shelter can help you remember all the positive things you have going on instead of focusing on what is missing. 

North Carolina Divorce Lawyers

If you have any questions about filing for divorce in North Carolina, contact the Caulder & Valentine Law Firm, PLLC. Contact us online or by phone at 704-470-2440 today for a consultation.

About the Author

Josh Valentine

You could say Josh has a God-given ability for sustaining long-term relationships. He and his wife first met in elementary school and went to Gardner Webb University (GWU) together, where they tied for number 1 in their class. Then, they both started law school on the same day of their graduation and got married during their first semester. He has also known his law partner Blake Caulder since Kindergarten. Theirs is the perfect partnership. “He’s the brake; I am the accelerator,” Josh says. Both Josh and his wife attended an innovative program at Charlotte Law School that allowed them to complete law school in two years instead of the typical three. His wife graduated and passed the North Carolina bar at age 20, becoming one of the youngest attorneys in the state. He readily admits she’s smarter than him. Of course, Josh went on to pass the North Carolina State Bar himself and later the South Carolina State Bar. While in school, he was Associate Editor of the Law Review and received accolades like Phi Delta Phi International Legal Honor Society membership, Order of the Crown, Pro Bono Honors, CALI Awards (highest grade). In his career as a lawyer, he has been admitted to the United States Federal Court for the Western District of North Carolina, is a member of the American Association of Premier DUI Attorneys, and completed training for DWI Detection & Standardized Field Sobriety Testing. Josh has also been named to the Top 40 Under 40 for Criminal Defense by The National Trial Lawyers, the Business North Carolina 2019 Legal Elite for Criminal Defense, and the 10 Best Attorneys for Client Satisfaction by the American Institute of Criminal Law Attorneys three years in a row (2016, 2017, and 2018). Community involvement has been important to Josh all his life. In high school, he participated in building a Holocaust museum that has become internationally regarded. He and his wife are actively engaged in animal rescue, which currently means seven cats and two kittens. He served in prison ministry and assisted with fundraiser banquets there, and he provides pro bono and reduced fee legal services to those in need. As if all of that weren’t enough, Josh also mentors high risk youth and helps with his church’s youth group. He participates in other community volunteer projects involving construction, remodeling, drywall, painting, and landscaping. He’s an active student of the Bible and has traveled to Israel, Brazil, and Europe for mission work. No one can say Josh isn’t a well-rounded individual. In his spare time, he likes to play softball, basketball, and tennis, and he can play the piano and trombone. Sometimes on weekends, believe it or not, he enjoys pouring and finishing concrete with friends who own a concrete and grading business. In his law practice, Josh has made it a point to develop positive relationships with officers, clerks, and district attorneys, which has proven invaluable in delivering positive results for his clients. It’s important to him to both listen to his clients and fight for them. Law enforcement officers have important responsibilities to keep our communities safe and uphold the law, but one of the responsibilities of attorneys is to make sure officers do their job correctly. Josh considers it his job to hold them accountable for their actions. Josh is a person of deep faith. He knows that the established order of our universe and strength of America’s Judeo-Christian influenced court system is built on God’s word. His passion to serve each client with innovation, excellence and integrity is a byproduct of his faith. When asked why he became a lawyer, Josh says, “All through my life, I have personally witnessed family members and very close friends endure divorce, child custody battles, bankruptcy, civil lawsuits, and even fraudulent criminal accusations. I both saw and experienced the stress such events can place on an individual, and I realized that everyone, at some point in their life, needs hope, comfort, and encouragement. In each one of those situations, the person who was best situated to provide that vital support was their lawyer. So that’s why I became an attorney. I understand what you are going through, and I’m here to help you. Our office is focused on meeting your needs and guiding you through what may be the most difficult time of your life.” Education: Charlotte School of Law J.D., Magna Cum Laude Class Rank – 21 of 328 Associate Editor of Charlotte School of Law Law Review Certification and Concentration in Employment Law Phi Delta Phi International Legal Honor Society Order of the Crown Pro Bono Honors CALI Awards (Highest Grade)—Lawyering Process I and Contracts I Full Scholarship Gardner-Webb University B.S. in Accounting, Summa Cum Laude Distinguished Senior Student Award – Highest GPA Alpha Sigma Lambda National Honorary Society Bar Admissions: North Carolina State Bar