Marriage comes with conflict. We all know that it's possible to fight and make up. But when your fights seem to happen more often or become more emotionally charged and heated, fighting can cause permanent damage to your relationship and your family. So how do you know if it's even possible to repair your marriage after a bad fight?
Signs That You Can Fix Your Marriage
If you're wondering if your marriage is repairable, there are always signs to examine within your overall relationship.
- Are you still friends? Healthy couples are friends as well as lovers.
- Does your spouse make you anxious? If the thought of spending time with your spouse is increasing your stress levels, you may be in trouble.
- Do you communicate? One of the biggest stumbling blocks in a marriage can be a failure to communicate. If you can't talk to one another, it can result in hurt feelings and avoidable misunderstandings.
- Have you tried couples therapy? Sometimes a neutral third party can be a great sounding board for couples.
- Do you want the same or similar things in life? If your goals in life and your relationship change, it can be harder to resolve big, relationship-ending conflicts.
Repairing a Marriage After Conflict
Luckily there are some things you can do to repair your relationship after a major conflict:
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Take a Break
Right after a fight, you both may need to take 15 minutes to calm down before you try to resolve problems. Things you say in the heat of the moment can be hard to take back.
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Don't Catastrophize
Keep your fight in perspective. Every conflict doesn't mean it's time to break up. Rather, disagreement can be a way to resolve to develop healthy ways to compromise as a couple.
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Apologize
Don't be too proud to apologize when you need to. Learning to say that you're sorry is an important skill in any relationship.
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Validate Your Partner
Even if you still disagree, you can listen to your partner with the intent of understanding their point of view. Many fights happen simply because one partner needs to be heard and understood and feels that it isn't happening.
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Learn and Grow
Take this conflict as a way to learn more about your partner and to grow as a couple. Learning to resolve conflicts together is one sign of a healthy marriage.
If you're in the middle of a divorce or contemplating a separation or divorce, the attorneys at Caulder & Valentine can help. If you live near the Shelby or Gastonia areas of North Carolina, give us a call at 704-470-2440 or contact us online. We can discuss your options and help you plan for the future.
