How NOT to Behave After Your Divorce is Finalized

Let's face it: divorce is a difficult experience. It has major ramifications on your personal life, your relationships, and your wallet. It's important, however, not to let your emotions get the best of you after a divorce is finalized.

Behaving rationally may be easier said than done, especially in contested divorces and disputed outcomes. Since it can be a tumultuous experience, some people choose to lash out at others following their divorce — and end up paying a hefty price.

That's what happened when one divorced man allegedly threatened North Carolina court workers. The man is accused of writing emails and social media posts that threatened to kill court employees and judges. The reason?

He was upset about his 15-year-old divorce and blamed the court for losing his house in the settlement. The man was indicted by a grand jury and now faces up to five years in prison and a $250,000 fine.

Although this example may be extreme, many people struggle with their behavior following a divorce. It's easy to make mistakes that have major ramifications on your life. Here are some things not to do after your divorce.

Don't Let Your Emotions Control Your Behavior

Divorce is a personal experience that can leave you feeling bitter, resentful, or downright angry at others. It's important, however, not to allow negative emotions to dictate your behavior.

If you make nasty remarks or aggressive statements towards your ex, you may violate the terms of your divorce agreement. This can open you up to a litany of other issues such as a change in custody arrangements, changing spousal support, and additional legal action. 

It's crucial that you act reasonably and remain civil following a divorce — no matter the case. You can always seek out support groups or counseling as you move on from your divorce.

Don't Put Your Kids in the Middle of Disputes

Divorce is painful enough for children, so it's important to keep them out of disputes. Speaking negatively about the other parent or having your kids choose sides can cause further harm for everyone involved. In some cases, it can even threaten a change to the initial custody order. Resolving your disputes privately is the best course of action for you and your children.

Don't Try to Hide Money 

It can be difficult to adjust to the financial demands of a divorce. Paying spousal support or alimony can be an unwanted burden, especially after a costly legal process. Some spouses try to hide their money in secret accounts to limit the amount they owe. Not only is this unethical, but it can lead to financial disputes that end up costing you more money in the long run. Your best bet? Be honest about your finances and make your payments on time.

Avoiding these behaviors can lead to a painless transition after your divorce. If you need any additional legal help or expertise, we're here to help. Contact Caulder & Valentine for family law assistance in Shelby and Gastonia North Carolina.